Oculus

This mirror is just like superman it has so many powers it’s stupid and boring

(1/5)

The haunting 1999

This movie is haunted with bad cgi and bad actors the only worthwhile moment was when Owen Wilson got decapitated who found that guy funny ever ? How was he in so many movies ?

Frankenhooker (1990)

Frankenhooker seems like it should be the title for a parody porno, unfortunately it’s not. This is a real movie that exists. There are a lot of 90’s boobs though which is neat. I was kept up way past my bed time to watch this movie about a guys ugly wife who is murdered by a berserk lawnmower. He keeps her body parts in a special purple goo fridge and then picks all the best parts from all the best hookers. Unfortunately though all the best hookers explode from taking super crack. The guy with the dead wife with takes all the exploded hooker parts and puts his dead wifes head on them and brings her back to life. I.E. Frankenhooker. There’s a pimp named Zorro who’s really buff too, he says some funny things sometimes. Somehow the stupid guy with the dead wife ends up with his stupid head on a body made up of the all crappy unused hooker parts. The end.

[speaking to a room full of scattered body parts after all the hookers explode]
“I want to apologize to everybody here.”

1.92/5

Scream

Watched this for the first time in forever and I think I’ve seen so many bad movies that scream has become watchable in that grand scale of horror

Take a Hitchcock movie add a shitty 90’s cast trying to squeeze as many horror references in as possible and play nick cave and you have scream

You’re Next (2011)

This movie could have been good if not for a few things

1. the killers sucked – really a bunch of shitty ex military dudes with dollar store masks and crossbows that’s the best thing you could do what ever happened to the tormented soul back from the dead for revenge or the truly evil person
2. why have a mask if you are going to take it off constantly that’s just dumb keep it of those things are hard to see out of
3. anyone could guess the plot within the first 20 minutes

Lost boys

Ok so after watching this for the millionth time I noticed the only people you see the lost boys kill are labeled nazi’s in the credits witch changes this movie entirely it seems to be about a family of vampires who fell in love with the wrong person and payed for it with there lives

Leprechaun (1993)

Jennifer Aniston is looking for dudes, The leprechaun is looking for his gold and the movies writers are looking to see how many different tiny vehicles they can put a dwarf on .

Deep Red (1975)

A pianist spends all his time trying to solve the murder of his neighbor he didn’t know ?????

5/5 … I still have no clue about so many that happened in this

Magic magic

Michael Cera masterbates in front of his friend kills a puppy and a parrot freaks a girl out to the point of suicide then a random failed exorcism out of nowhere the end

2l2dk

This movie is a accurate portrayal of life with roommates and how much abuse a tiny woman can take to the head