everybody lookout its a plane full of guys with poo on there face and they’re pissed
So waaay back in 1993 some genius in Hollywood decided to make a movie based off of H.P. Lovecraft’s Fabled book of the dead. How they thought this was a good idea is way beyond my fucking comprehension. This is basically a anthology movie with a wraparound story of H.P. (played by Herbert West himself Jeffrey Combs) stealing the book from some weird monk guys in new york city in the 20’s it appears Lovecraft is seeing the future in the book as all of the stories take place in modern times (well 1993 ). The first of the stories deals with some guy who inherits an old family home by the sea and his wife is dead and he wants to bring her back. Of course he uses the Necronomicon left in the house from his ancestor who used it to resurrected his wife and child who died in shipwreck back in the day. Neither of these idiot dudes think that using the book of the dead to bring their dead family’s back will be a bad idea. Those of us with some sense in out damn heads know it can only end with your wife coming back as a tentacle bitch intent on killing you . The man in modern times ends up almost being eaten by a Kracken/ Cthulu monster living under the house as it sinks into the ocean with him escaping via the roof and impaling the Kracken with a piece of glass right in his eye! The second story is all about all about the nerdy scientist who played Baxter Stockman in the second Ninja turtles movie who is keeping himself alive with some cold Mr freeze style serum. A reporter comes to investigate and of course he knocks her up. Blah blah stuff happens she leaves and comes back while hes killing someone for his serum stuff and his lab burns up and she is saved by the elderly landlord woman who always loved the Dr and they raise the baby presumably by killing people and draining the spinal fluid form them and using the Necronomicon just like the Dr was doing the whole time. The third and final story is a bout two cops one of which got the other preggers searching a warehouse for a serial killer named the butcher. Long story short the butcher is the man leading them around the whole time and hes working for aliens. The aliens are stealing people brains and putting them into weird Mynock looking creatures. The female cop wakes up in the “hospital” which is really the weird Mayan/alien temple spaceship thingy.
So ive been writing for http://www.plasticgraveyard.com/ why they would want me is far beyond my comprehension it must be more trouble censoring my 12 word posts with a dick photo attached than to just not have me share my hate ummmm yeah sift through the toy photos to find the non horror movies ive been watching