The New Kids (1985)

A group of southern thugs (the leader of witch has some beautiful blond feathered hair) want to harass some new kids (some dude and uncle Jessie’s wife in full house) and it gets stupid and then they get a bunch of guns and run around shooting them at nothing then more nothing the new kids win the end


hansel and gretel get baked.

an old witch bitch sells magic weed to young adults. some people go missing, whatever.
gretel is looking for her boyfriend. hansel helps her for about 5 minutes then gets bored. the witch killed him. and her drug dealer, but no one cares but her. and I’m pretty sure hansel doesn’t even get high. and some stoned bitch ate the snack trail to get home.
also involves magic!, a demon doberman pincher, skin cookies, blood spickets, flesh grinding to grow weed plants, and sucking souls out of mouths to look younger (hocus pocus?)
it’s actually better than you’d expect
(2.3 out of 5)