Today’s review is on the wonderful film, Night of the Demons. I just want to get it out of the way that there is a remake made, Sandwiches, friendship and blowjobs is going to be the film I make someday and it will be an artistic vision like the world has never seen. I already see myself living in a three bedroom fixer-upper will hundreds of dollars I will be earning, I do see a down side is that I feel though various sequels, director changes and the Dreaded “Sandwiches, friendship and blowjobs takes Manhattan” it will be the straw that broke the camels back.
The Blob looks like if all of the Nickelodeon Gak in the world came to life and started eating people, but don’t worry there’s always some goofy kid with a leather jacket and a mullet around to save the day … this is my new favorite giant monster. It would destroy Cloverfield in a fight any day.
Promise me you will see this
before you go see this
“How can they hear the truth above the roar” This is a quote from Chicago, where Richard Gere is singing the best ways to fool a crowd and don’t get me wrong it’s a good song but damn if it’s not the way the movie industry works. We are subject to worthless remakes and sequels that have taken you down the same path, American pie is a perfect example of that, first off do you remember the actors and the fine jobs they did? are there any good actors in these film? is it true they got so much blood from a stone Eugene Levy is draw for the latest direct to dvd trainwreck? Avitar and Twilight run on the same premise, Avitar is a IMAX strokefest luring you in with “mind blowing landscapes” and the bait and switch is it’s just a story of how the white man can save the day, James Cameron can stick a trumpet up the ass of Kevin Costner allowing him to toot his own horn again. Twilight is just youth driven classic vampire tale and horror fans have to sit and suffer that this gobshite is lumped into the genre by Hollywood. Do you really need to see a dopey looking British guy pulling the same “whoa is me” gimmick? I would rather watch Buffy if I needed to see a Vampires whining that their cunts hurt.
“when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government”. Yes those are lines from the Declaration of Indepence and how does it apply to films? Despotism is a form of government which is ruled under a single authority and this does sound extreme but with all onslaught of remakes in sequels in the horror genre, don’t you think enough is enough? and this does cross over into daily life, if there are less options for you in life where do you think it will stop? Hollywood is sadly one step away from Coupon The Movie from Mr. Show and How great would it be for the latest blockbuster movie Hollywood churned out, only to play to empty chairs in megaplexes. Using the each one, teach one logic, have your circle of friends avoid a movie and spread the word until studios feel it in their wallets. I don’t give a fuck how Avitar is very high grossing,making money does not make a film watchable and all the bells and whistles in the world will not make a film rewatchable, when did you last watch Independence day? why do you think I used the razzle dazzle quote earlier?
I know there is still hope for films, Be kind rewind was an awesome idea, taking back the magic that movies held for people. I loved the film but Jack Black’s wacky antics just brought it down for me. I know this rant has been agenda-heavy and not pertaining to horror very much, the point we try to make is it’s your time and this is blog is geared towards people who are bored at mainstream cinema as we are.
Thanks for joining the fan page and spread the word about us, if we are lucky to get more followers one of them just might be a filmmaker or just alert people if they once had spending power that can force filmmakers abandon cookie cutter scripts. There is a man behind the curtain and for fun lets throw rocks at him.
As always I can anger myself just by the simple act of heading to blockbuster to rent a good film. I was heading out of town, so I could watch more than 8 films this weekend and I had my Bava film and other gems. I go into blockbuster knowing that I was ready to give a spinning backfist to the clerk who happened to know dick about movies, I have in my head that its a pretty easy to find and to watch John Carpenters The Fog. I go up to a different clerk than I dealt with during the “Running Man hoopla” I figure that The Fog would be carried by the fucking store. I have to say the sections are messed up and out of order, it just gives off a “I don’t give a fuck what I watch” point of view and its disgraceful that’s how the business is run. I again was let down that they only carry the 2005 version of the fog.
- Is it normal for sleepwalkers to be incestuous or were these two just freaks ?
- Do sleepwalkers need to eat people ?
- Am I part sleepwalker? If I get scratched by a cat, I’m down for three weeks with crazy flu-like illness which is a shame because I really want to have more cat friends in my life.
I will be waiting patiently on your response, Mr. King, I know your reading this.
I remember hearing tales of a man who directed gay porn, had a surplus of fur and potato sacks in New York in the 80’s. As with all the tall tales we have grown up with that have faded in the back burners of our minds, like the vans the would drive around and lure kids into the back of the van and proceed to breaks their fingers. I made up the first part but the second part is something that was talked about growing up in Lynn, never saw or met anyone who didn’t just talk about it. As for the gay porn director who made horror films, sometimes you just stumble on to greatness while your hiding from the rain.
Yes it is true that Tim Kincaid has a amazing background in anus wrecking all the while having the ability to tell an interesting tale that would have been stolen from Hollywood years later. Robot holocaust tells the of Neo who has a foppish robot sidekick that has the mouth of a sex doll, so the time is a post apocalyptic New York that is ruled by a shadow figure robot known as the Dark Lord and has a female lackey that is quite sexy with her spandex and her big hair.
The plot plays out in a way that feels like Wizard of OZ meets the warriors, Neo goes on a quest to the power station, the dwelling of the Dark Lord. Neo gets in wacky exploits and meets a crew of half naked men and a Amazon type female warrior who tends to hate men, but she will cut out dudes tongues then force a dude to make babies.
This film is a goldmine of quotes and there is no stop of silly action and the melee combat is downright amazing, this is a vision of the future I can get behind. Perfect shots of 80’s New York and there is one scene where the twin towers are still standing, proving the towers could survive the Apocalypse but in reality humans can fuck that up.
The last twenty five minutes of the film are even more mind blowing than the first sixty,and yes the film runs a total of eighty minutes and spaceballs wished it had an ending this good. Robot Holocaust proves you don’t need budget or good fx to make a great film, This may be a buck tooth dome-headed child with a droopy ear…even with all the strikes against it there is more than enough promise to keep you interested and you’ll laugh most of the way.
I made it though an entire rant without making a potshots at remakes, fuck it the Matrix is a polished turd of Robot Holocaust and its funny how remakes of good movies turn out a shitty product, but when you take a gem like this and lift the basic plot and throw in a talking head of an actor, the final product is as worthless as the collectors edition of the generic blockbuster that has flooded the market since the birth of dvd extras.
Revenge of the dead is one of those movies you find in the store and you say “ok it has a zombie on the cover” so you purchase it and you get home and it turns out to be a different film than the box art suggests and instead of chucking the film out the window, this may end up a favorite film of yours.
The story starts out with a old woman looking for someone outside during the nighttime, me I excel at putting two and two together and yes I correct about the old bag getting killed. Now before you bestow me with roses and praise, this film is the aim for all the fanfare. What happens next is a page from the fulci handbook,in the 1950’s a young girl has a man take her to the basement and on the way to the basement, the house is doing the whole haunted act complete with the shaking Bannister gimmick. The man leaves the girl and something or someone has attacked the girl.
Now in present day, Stefano is a writer and he receives a typewriter from his girlfriend and he for some reason reads the ribbon from the typewriter and it tells of how the dead will rise and all that good stuff. Upon searching Stefano find out that belongs to Don Luigi and the mystery gets deeper when he goes to visit Don Luigi and talks to him and returning to talk again, the hero find that Don Luigi has been dead or missing for years.
Don Luigi was a priest until it was found he was studying K-zones place in the world that defy logic of life and death, meaning the dead will raise if placed in a K-zone. Stefano is getting sucked into to finding the truth and Bodies start piling up. Stefano’s girlfriend is now calling him crazy for pursuing and the church that Don Luigi was a part of has Priests following Stefano.
Stefano finds the K-zone and locates the real Don Luigi and he is on camera while in a casket and there are devices that monitor that beep and boop and just look cool. Don Luigi wake up and starts laughing and come from the ground and tries to kill Stefano and but he gets away.
I won’t say the end, but yet again it is Fulci-like and all around great even with a lack of gore and a low bodycount, Despite it seem you’ve seen parts of this film elsewhere it is a fun watch and the soundtrack rules! Buy this film just on the grounds on the actor has been in some of Argento’s greatest films, you’ll just want to watch Deep Red all over again!
Now for the low, Jess Franco. I can barely say his name without cringing and I know horror should push the limit but I tried to find worth Vampyros Lesbos. I watched it again and all I felt once again that Jess Franco is a one note filmmaker who makes films for perverts and horny teens, who else wants to see watered down avant garde with subpar camera angles and for some unknown reason his love of filming boats? Vampyros Lesbos has promise because of plot has to do with a woman getting sucked into a vampires life and this gets played out thought the dreams of a woman who seems crazy, now what ruins it for me is the overuse of the footage of the boats and a scorpion on the ground, and this images appear in the film over and over again. I am not sure what the subtext may be, maybe a fan of Misty Munday can explain my questions.
I will say watching Italian films of the past, I quite enjoy the beauty that alot of the women of these films, but do I need to see a topless woman waving her arms around topless at an odd angle for my entertainment? I seen other films to further blur the line of horror and porn, I just happen to find them terribly boring.
Vampyros Lesbos is a film you would watch if you want to shock your auntie, sad truth is getting though Vampyros Lesbos will just make you want to shove a boat up the ass of Jess Franco. Franco’s body of work is just part of the reason that Horror fans are lumped into the weirdo pile and yes he has done some valid films, but I happen to think eatting beets in your salad is far more interesting than his body of work, at least your poop will be purple the next morning and thats more than I can say for Vampyros Lesbos.