Murders in the Rue Morgue was
50% silly David Lynch dream sequences
25% plays trying to find a way to work a man in a ape suit in
25% phantom of the Oprah
So, apparently movies are retarded now and so are people who think they have purchased haunted boxes on ebay. Welcome to the age of people who can’t come up with an original movie idea.
Release Date: No Release Date Available
Director: Ole Bornedal
Writer: Juliet Snowden & Stiles White
Story based on a haunted box purchased on Ebay that brings bad fortune to its possessors. Eventually being passed from one person to the next and causing all sorts of torment.
The film is in the vein of The Exorcist or The Shining, based on real events that transpired after a family wound up in possession of a haunted box, setting off a harrowing struggle to rid themselves of the box’s evil curse.
~ Zombies Ate My Breakfast
So, I’m sitting here being a fucking slave to the man and yes it’s 2:56am in the morning, and no I’m not picking cotton in the fields. I worked 7am-3pm today and now I’m back working “forced overtime” from 11pm tonight until 3pm tomorrow. So I figured…… fuck it I will do what I have been dreading and putting off for months, I will finally watch Paranormal activity. I’m not gonna lie, I’m a horror movie elitist and I cringe while watching slop for the masses like this. But fuck me sideways, I really enjoyed this movie. The acting was fucking garbage, the effects were fucking garbage, shit me and Unholy Moly could make a better looking movie in the alley behind his apartment, but the atmosphere of this movie is genuinely scary. I know I can’t believe I’m saying it either. The only thing that kinda ruined this movie for me was the guy who played Micah (Micah Sloat) this fucking ass hat couldn’t act his way out of a paper bag. Aside from Micah being a douche, you get an uneasy feeling through the whole film and I have to say it’s a nice change of pace. I’m not saying it’s a great movie by any means, but when you go into a movie expecting to see crap and it catches you off guard when it’s not, that is fucking awesome. The whole movie is filmed from Micah’s camera as him and his live in girlfriend experience supernatural events. I’m not a big fan of the shaky camera genre, so its refreshing that most of the time the camera is on a tripod. I also need to give props to the writer/director Oren Peli. He made this movie for around $15,000 and it raked in $7 million in its first weekend. This film is all about what you don’t see, and if you’ve ever been really scared by something that went bump in the night then you should check this bitch out. If your a gore whore like myself you might be really bored by this film and may want to pass. I don’t know how I feel about the next film being a prequel, so you will probably have to wait for it to come out on Netflix streaming before I write anything about it.
~ Zombies Ate My Breakfast
As a treat here is a retard review from Netflix user ioe 210594 from Los Angeles, CA
My major problem with this movie is simply that they left the door open throughout all of it.That and their extremely slow reaction to do practically anything to prevent it. Otherwise good build up and great climax.
He apparently has found the solution to Micah and Katie’s demon problem ………… shut the door! Shit that is fucking brilliant, #1 the demon didn’t open and close doors like 20 times during the movie, #2 I’m pretty sure a demon that can drag a bitch out of her bed and across the floor, can’t open a fucking door. But, I mean I’m just saying.